Monday, 15 August 2011

Finding Love Online

We asked the nation's leading experts to reveal their top tips for finding love online. Try a few and see where your romantic life leads...

Stick to a one-hour rule
"Spend an hour a day max looking for dates online. Get an egg-timer if you have to. It might be tempting to stare at the screen for four hours at a stretch, but anything in excess is usually a bad thing. It's like exercise. We all know those gung-ho people who start exercise regimens and overdo it that first week. Most of them get hurt, give up and never go back to it. The same happens in online dating. But if you pace yourself, you'll lessen your odds of burnout—and increase your odds of success."

Share stories in your profile
"When writing your profile keep this rule in mind: Show, don't tell. Instead of saying you're funny or down-to-earth, show you're funny or down-to-earth by sharing a story about a time you were one of those things. This will help fill your profile with lines that are so unique they could only be written by you, and that will help you stand out from the crowd."
—Evan Marc Katz, founder of E-Cyrano.com and author of I Can't Believe I'm Buying This Book: A

Add sex appeal to your subject line
"When you send out your initial email to someone, give the subject line some sex appeal. Instead of sticking with a boring 'Hello,' reference something specific in their profile—such as, 'Sunday NY Times Poolside' or 'Barcelona or Bust.' By writing a fun and specific subject line, you will make connections faster."


Keep your facts straight
"In a classic embarrassment of riches scenario, it's common to find yourself in the situation of having too many online suitors. You can use technology to keep them straight—cut and paste everything from profiles and pictures to email and responses into spreadsheets or word processing programs, then create a file for each person you've contacted. This is especially useful at the beginning of your communications, when you're still trying to remember which username goes with which real name. And make sure you review your date's profile before emailing, phoning or meeting face-to-face."

Don't share all your online horror stories
"Too often, singles get caught in that downward spiral of having a couple of bad dates in a row and then bringing that bad attitude onto the next date with them. When I was online dating, I met plenty of guys who would say, 'Whew, you won't believe some of the horrible online dates I've had lately' and then go into excruciating detail. It was like once they met someone they clicked with, they immediately felt the need to share all those bad experiences. No thanks!"


Know your target audience
"Keep in mind that you're not just writing a profile that captures who you are; you are writing a profile to appeal to a potential love match. If you're a straight woman, don't compose a profile that would appeal to your girlfriends. Shopping and crafts are not male magnets. Avoid sounding too domestic and gushingly romantic, and edit out any hint of negativity like 'Most guys are dogs' or 'Sick of liars!' That tells a guy you distrust all men—and most will steer clear. The same principal applies to straight guys. Don't come across sounding macho or distrusting; for example: 'I don't want to be your meal ticket.' Sounding too sexy also turns women off, so avoid referring to yourself as 'Adonis,' or 'Red-Hot Lover.' Similarly, if you're gay, don't describe yourself to appeal to new friends—describe what will entice and attract potential partners."



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