How to Make Up with a Friend

If you're thinking, "Hey, I have my pride," and want to wait for her to call — well, that's just misguided, says Paulette Dale, Ph.D., author of "Did You Say Something, Susan?": How Any Woman Can Gain Confidence with Assertive Communication. "You don't have to admit you did anything wrong or that you caused the argument," Dale points out. "All you're doing is taking the first step toward getting a valuable friendship back on track."
Sure, picking up that phone is a nerve-racking proposition, but would you rather have that big fight fester inside you for who knows how long? If you still can't get past your pride, challenge yourself to come up with at least one good reason why she may have acted as she did. It'll help you see that there are two sides to the story of your fight — which will make it easier for you to reach out.
Do you simply crave a chance to apologize for your part in the blowup? Or would you rather discuss what led to the fight? If you don't do this bit of prep work, you may (out of nervousness) just mumble something like, "Hi, what's new?" and pretend the problem never existed, says Holly Weeks, author of Taking the Stress Out of Stressful Conversations. But burying the conflict won't make it go away; over time, those bad feelings will continue to drive a wedge between you two.
Let her know from the get-go that you care about her and the friendship. Two suggested openers from Dale: "We haven't talked for three weeks and I miss you" or "Listen, I want you to know how upset I am that we had a disagreement. Our friendship means a lot to me.